he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
