Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
