C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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