Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
