The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
