I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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