i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
