Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
