Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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