is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
