Whod you bang
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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