last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
