you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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