my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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