I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
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Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
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Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
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