i don't like sucking hair
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I could make wine with my vomit
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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