Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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