Already got asked if we're dating
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
