Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
