O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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