I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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