i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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