I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
