Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
