It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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