just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
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so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
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Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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