That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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