is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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