Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize