i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
