I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
