im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
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I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
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Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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