i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
