Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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