i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
