Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
