I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize