Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
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Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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