Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
