we're blogging at a bar
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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