Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
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