There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
