forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
zippers are such a cool invention
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
