In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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