So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
