3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The Olympian is in my bed
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
