Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
