I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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