When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
