he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
