well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
