saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Drank your wedding present. Sorry