Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition