at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
