please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize