This girl is more easily done than said...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
