its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
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Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
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I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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