So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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