physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
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If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
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She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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