i just had sex bonerless
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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