Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
