He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
