I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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