okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
